Loneliness: A Torah Response to a Modern Challenge

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Aug 13
3 min read

E20/2025 By Rabbi Yaakov Lieder

Dedicated to Simi and Getzy Zeiler in celebration of their recent wedding

If you have one minute…

The Torah’s first use of the phrase “It is not good” does not refer to sin or failure but to isolation: “It is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). This profound statement underscores that even in the perfection of paradise, emotional solitude remains both painful and contrary to human nature. Loneliness runs through the stories of our ancestors. Yosef is isolated in Egypt, separated from his family. Moshe Rabbeinu often leads alone. King David, in Psalms, pours out his heart: “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted” (Psalms 25:16).

The Talmud acknowledges loneliness's emotional and spiritual toll. In Taanit 23a, it says: “Either companionship or death,” emphasizing the vital need for human connection.

Yet Judaism offers spiritual resources for these moments. The Shechinah (Divine Presence) is said to accompany a person in pain or exile. The Lubavitcher Rebbe often taught that a Jew is never truly alone, because even in darkness and struggle, God is there: “I am with him in distress” (Psalms 91:15). What may feel like abandonment is, in truth, an invitation to deeper connection.

Practical Takeaways: Jewish Tools for Combating Loneliness

Host and attend Shabbat meals, invite someone new each week.
Join a study group or set up a chavruta, shared learning combats spiritual and emotional isolation.
Reach out to someone who is alone, a call, a visit, or a simple “How are you?” matters.
Volunteer for a mitzvah like bikur cholim (visiting the sick) or nichum aveilim (comforting mourners).

If you have another 70 seconds…

The Silent Epidemic: Loneliness in the Modern World

Modern research shows that loneliness is not just emotional; it’s linked to medical concerns, too. In 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy issued a formal advisory calling loneliness a public health crisis, comparable to smoking or obesity. Chronic loneliness increases the risk of premature death by nearly 30% and is linked to depression, heart disease, and dementia.

Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a leading psychologist specialising in social connection and health, found that social isolation increases mortality risk by up to 50%. Dr. John Cacioppo, a founder of the field of social neuroscience, taught that loneliness isn't being physically alone: it’s the perceived gap between the relationships we want and those we have. It creates a vicious cycle: loneliness leads to withdrawal, which deepens the loneliness.

Dr. Susan Pinker highlights that even brief face-to-face interactions can boost oxytocin and reduce stress. Members of communities with strong social ties live longer and happier lives.

✅ If You’re Feeling Lonely

Reach out to one person today; even a message, a call, or a short meet for coffee can make a difference.
Join a community group—a synagogue, volunteering team, walking club, or choir.
Speak up—tell a friend, family member, or rabbi how you’re feeling.
Limit passive scrolling on social media. Instead, use tech to schedule real-life meetups.
Explore therapy or coaching, especially CBT, to break mental isolation loops.

✅ If You Know Someone Who May Be Lonely:

Make the first move—they may not know how to ask.
Invite them to your Shabbat table, a class, or a walk.
Send a message saying, “I’ve been thinking of you.”
Offer small but consistent connections—a regular check-in can save someone’s mental health.

Bringing It Full Circle: A Jewish Lens

The Jewish tradition offers timeless practices that directly address loneliness. Shabbat dinners, community prayer, learning with a partner chavruta. Kindness-based mitzvot are not just rituals; they are lifelines.

Whether you're struggling with loneliness or wishing to help others, Judaism reminds us:“Al tifrosh min hatzibur”—Don’t separate yourself from the community (Pirkei Avot 2:4).And when others do separate or drift, our mitzvah is to bring them back with warmth.Loneliness is real. But so is love. And connection. And healing. Let’s build a world where no one is left to sit alone.

For more blogs, go to https://www.jfc.org.au/blog

and for videos, go to https://www.youtube.com/@liederrelationshipandparen7760/videos

To order my book, “14 Kids, no theories”, go to https://www.amazon.com/dp/0646492721