Scrolling, Comparing, Coveting: The Silent Crisis Within

A Torah and Psychological Perspective on Jealousy in the Thought Age

E16/2025

If you have 30 seconds…

The Torah’s View – Why “Just Thinking It” Still Matters

In today’s culture, many people say:“It’s just a thought. I’m not acting on it. So, what’s the problem?”

The Torah offers a radically different view. In the Tenth Commandment — “You shall not covet” (Exodus 20:14) — we are warned not to desire what belongs to someone else. Not to take it, not to speak about it — just not to want it.

This is a profound moral stance. The Torah holds us accountable not only for our actions, but for our inner world. Desire — even silent and private — can be spiritually damaging.

According to Maimonides (Mishneh Torah, Hilchos Gezeilah ve’Aveidah 1:9), even if a person schemes to acquire something legally, the very act of wanting what’s not theirs is already a breach.

Chassidus explains that if G-d allows you to see someone else’s success, it’s not to provoke jealousy — it’s a message to awaken your own mission. Instead of “Why don’t I have that?” ask, “What is G-d showing me about who I could become?”

The Torah reminds us: Your thoughts matter. They shape your soul — and your destiny.

If You Have Another Minute…

Psychology and the Hidden Cost of Envy — Especially Online

Modern psychology affirms what Torah wisdom taught millennia ago: Jealousy is not harmless, even when it’s invisible. It can quietly corrode your inner life — and today, that corrosion is happening faster than ever.

One major culprit? Social media.

In a world of endless scrolling and curated lives, we’re constantly comparing ourselves to others. Social media platforms are engineered to show the best moments of people’s lives — filtered, polished, and posted for likes. And the mind begins to ask:“Why is everyone else doing better than I am?” “Why don’t I have what they have?”

Psychological research is sounding the alarm:

- A 2018 Harvard study found that increased social media use is associated with higher levels of envy and lower life satisfaction.

- Studies from the University of Copenhagen and others show that scrolling Instagram or Facebook triggers negative self-comparison.

- Gratitude declines when comparison rises. And depression, anxiety, and self-doubt hover nearby to fill the void.

Even if those jealous thoughts never lead to action, they reshape your self-image. They make it harder to feel content, grateful, and emotionally safe. They erode relationships, distance us from others’ joy, and often leave us bitter, restless, or spiritually numb.

A Higher Path: From Jealousy to Inspiration

The Lubavitcher Rebbe once said:“When you see another person’s spiritual success, don't get jealous. Get inspired.”

This concept transforms envy into fuel for your own growth. Instead of asking, “Why does he have that?” ask: “How can I become more of who I am meant to be?”This shift - from comparison to inspiration - is the heart of both psychological healing and spiritual maturity.

So what can we do?

Both Torah and psychology offer real tools for healing:

- Gratitude: actively noticing what you have, not what you lack.

- Mindfulness: learning to observe your thoughts without becoming them.

- Reframing: turning someone else’s success into motivation, not insecurity.

As Chassidus teaches, even the jealousy itself can be elevated: It can become a signal from the soul, pointing us toward growth and refinement.

Envy doesn’t have to be expressed to cause harm. If left unchecked, it quietly disturbs your peace, clouds your clarity, and poisons your purpose.

In the Torah’s world — and in our own minds — thought is not neutral space. It is sacred space. Guard it well.

This publication is dedicated to Tony & Robin Mitchell in loving memory of their parents:

Schaindel bat Yitzchak ע"ה

Yeshayahu ben Chaim ע"ה

Avraham Fischel ben Yosef ע"ה

Chana Raizl bat Azriel ע"ה

And in honour of Shaina Miriam bas Gavriela Ruth שתחי'